Rehab For Beginners
by cheekymice
Summary: Julie visits Kirsten in rehab. Part of the OCFSC2.


_**OCFSC2 Story**_  
**Title:** Rehab For Beginners  
**Pairing:** Kirsten, Julie  
**Written for:** Diva5256  
**Sentence:** Julie visits Kirsten in rehab.  
**Beta:**melanie39

**Discalaimer - I own nothing to do with The OC**

**Rehab for Beginners**

Kirsten wasn't sure how the hell she had ended up here; she knew that things had gotten bad. Her safe world had crumbled and she was left with a sad empty feeling. But how the hell had she ended up in rehab, with Julie Cooper-Nichol of all people sat in front of her? She could have also bet that a year ago Julie would have had a smug expression on her face and the only reason she would have visited would have been to gloat and to report the salacious gossip back to the other Newpsies.

Things had changed so much in the last year, who would have thought that Julie would have actually shown herself to be a good friend. Julie had let her barriers down considerably and dropped the hard assed nouveaux riches exterior that she still cultivated around the other Newpsies. Caleb's death and Marissa's need for support after the shooting had changed her she seemed softer now; less sure of her place in the world and that is exactly how Kirsten felt now. They both bonded over the realization that they had both hurt the people they loved the most through their behaviour.

They were having a good heart to heart and Kirsten found it more therapeutic than all the sessions she'd had since being here.

_"Kiki, I can't believe that Jimmy forgave me for how I treated him. I was such a bitch. You know I always thought that you would have been the one to come between us, he's always loved you. But I was the one who threw it away because I didn't want to lose face."_

The old Julie would have used the words 'he's always loved you' like weapons. This Julie was resigned. Kirsten tried to explain to her that Jimmy was one of the reasons why she was here. The feeling of loss she had felt when Jimmy had left was stupid she knew, nothing would ever have happened between them, too much water under the bridge but when Sandy had begun to spend time with Rebecca, to lie to her, feelings of insecurity had surfaced. Having Jimmy around might have helped. She wouldn't have had to turn to Carter. Jimmy would have made her feel wanted without the need for an outsider like Carter to make her feel special again. Jimmy was safe.

She was a woman of a certain age who felt like she was losing her husband. Jimmy had always been there for her as her 'what if' man. She cared for him and he was one of her best friends but she had to admit that having someone who you knew that maybe, just maybe would throw everything away to be with you was comforting. It made her feel wanted, desired. When Jimmy had left she felt like she had no one on her side, she explained to Julie. Rebecca had temporarily changed the one man she trusted the most in the world and planted the seed of self –doubt in her. To this day she wasn't sure she believed Sandy when he assured her that nothing had happened but being here had made her think, it had made her realize how difficult it must have been for Sandy all these years for her to be so close with her ex- lover, how difficult for Julie to have her prom picture hanging on their wall as a reminder of a past life that Julie had no part in. Kirsten apologised for not understanding how having an 'ex' invade your life destroyed trust…made you suspicious, made you doubt everything.

_"I used to hate you for that Kirsten, I used to hate that he still loved you but I know now first hand how difficult it is to let go of the past, Lance showed me that. He damn near cost me everything, made me do something that I could never have lived with. I accept that you and Jimmy will always be close but you know that I'd rip your heart out if you ever made a move on him Kiki, although Jimmy would probably enjoy us both fighting over him."_

Kirsten laughed at that and Julie had moved on. The fact that they could talk openly about it and joke helped. She knew that she had some serious bridges to build with people; Seth and Sandy felt hurt and confused that she was here. She wasn't an alcoholic; she just needed a crutch to get her through the hard times. Some of the people here, she told Julie, were seasoned drinkers. People that sunk a couple of bottles of scotch a day and still functioned. She had just wanted to numb the pain. O.K she had started drinking more as the days had gone on and slugging vodka in the morning juice was misguided but she was not on skid row just yet. Newport had a tradition of drinking, every other day was a social function, everyone drunk…no, her problem was not the drink but the guilt that came with getting involved with another man. With coming so close to walking away and leaving her family, all for the sake of feeling desired again, for the feeling of something new, for wanting to feel alive again. Her problem was a damned mid-life crisis.

_"Kiki, we're a bit too young for that yet. You know what our problem was, we should have both just gone to Vegas and spent the night watching some male strippers, maybe flirted with a couple of lonely business men. Then gone home to our husbands. Caleb didn't deserve me but then he knew what he was getting, a two-bit floozy from Riverside with aspirations of grandeur, But you've got to know Kiki, I did care for him in my own way, he just wasn't Jimmy."_

She knew her father's flaws, she reminded Julie. The way he was cutthroat, ruthless, and manipulated people. Hell whilst she was being honest he could be a downright bastard but she loved him. She didn't always respect him though. She had hated the way he'd treated Ryan. She hated the way that she couldn't always stand up to him. So many times she had wanted to say more on the subject. She had seen the way that Ryan looked after every put down, after every snide mention of his past. Now her father was dead and she had carried on his work. The night of the intervention had been unforgivable. She had lashed out at the one person she knew it would hurt the most; she knew that Ryan would forgive her because that's what he did. She also knew that he would never forget what she said; he would carry her words with him, as another reminder never to trust people, a reminder to never let anyone in, never get too comfortable. That boy had had such a shit life and now she had made it worse.

_"Kiki, he'll understand, you were lashing out. He loves you, anyone can see that. I'm always surprised that he is civil to me; I haven't been exactly welcoming to him since he came here. I never liked him Kirsten, I thought he was a hood, a cheap hustler. I spent most of my time siding with Cal about him, but I've seen a different side to him. My daughter almost killed his brother Kiki, how must that feel? He's been so withdrawn but never once has he blamed Marissa. He comes round to ask how she is, he listens to her, he just holds her and Jimmy loves him, thinks he's good for her and Jimmy is a pretty good judge of character. Well, except when it came to me. But Jimmy trusts him and I'm coming around, I've got to tell you he's not what I'd choose for my daughter but then Marissa takes after me and I got myself a good one so who knows? He had better keep it in his pants though; if he gets her into trouble like he did that Latino girl then he'll feel the full wrath of Julie Cooper-Nichol."_

She so wanted for Julie to see that he was a good kid. She explained that Seth had been a different boy since he came into their lives. At first she had hated that he was making her little boy grow up, but then she saw how happy Seth was to have a friend. It brought home to her that Seth had never really had a true friend before. What sort of mother did that make her for not realizing earlier that he'd never got invited to parties or sleepovers? It was only when Ryan left for the previous summer that she had really comprehended how lonely Seth must have been before Ryan had showed up.

_"Yeah well, having a lot of friends means squat in this town 'cause when the chips are down the superficial sons of bitches run for cover, they dump you like a ton of bricks KiKi. I know that first hand. It's the ones that stick around that make you realize who your true friends are."_

Yes she had some serious bridges to build, with all of her boys, and she was damn sure that she was going to be there for them this time. She had had so many opportunities that she had blown. She should have been more supportive to Sandy when Rebecca had resurfaced, then maybe Sandy wouldn't have had to sneak around so much. Temptation had been put in his path and it was partly her fault. She should have realized how upset Seth had been when Ryan had left, then maybe Seth wouldn't have run away. That had been the catalyst that started her troubles with Sandy. If only she hadn't interfered in Theresa's life, her actions had almost cost Ryan his chance to be a kid. Thank God that fate had intervened there. Being a father at seventeen would have crippled Ryan. Things would be different now.

Kirsten smiled at the redhead before her. Who would have thought that Julie would have been one of the ones that stuck around? Newport certainly was full of surprises. She felt happier than she had in months. For once she didn't feel she had to be perfect Kirsten Cohen because she now had a true friend, a friend that listened and did not judge her like the fake plastic Newpsies she had once called friends before.

_"You know you'll breeze through the next few weeks Kiki, the next scandal will happen and this will be old news and besides I don't think you can be a fully fledged Newpsie unless you have had at least one trip to rehab under your belt. It's the done thing Darling...Oh my, now that is a sight for sore eyes, look at the buns on that!"_

Kirsten laughed as Julie stared unabashedly out of the window, at the gardener's firm butt cheeks as he bent over to rev up the lawn mower.

Julie was incorrigible…Jimmy or no Jimmy, scandal or no scandal, nothing was going to change Julie Cooper-Nichol.

She was a survivor.

Kirsten stared at her replacement wedding ring and thought 'and so am I.'

**Fin**


End file.
